RECORD OF AWAKENINGS

now i just stare into the sun and i see everything i've done...

A Nine Inch Nails lyric.

there is this idea of home...

it's become a life of accumulation...of understanding, of remembering...not a life of living...

much much time has passed...

there's nothing that this immediate world could ever offer me to make me stay...

you make me hard when I'm all soft inside

A Nine Inch Nails lyric.

i don't know who the fuck thought that allowing me to live this life would end well but they really were dead wrong...

i can't believe this is my fucking life. my fucking existence...

i don't wanna live in this coldness and misery anymore

the fact of the matter is that i was the one unfortunate enough to be Sol...

oooh god i wanna be dead so fucking bad already...

i miss ___

waking up to this nightmare every day...

it's like i know that i don't fucking belong in this world

i believe i can see the future because i repeat the same routine...

A Nine Inch Nails lyric.

i died a long long, time ago

A variation on a David Bowie lyric?

time is a funny, funny thing...

it feels like I'm alive in another world right now...

feels like a time portal is going to open up in my bedroom!

every fucking day i wake up feeling this way...

every second is worse than the last...

I'm supposedly living around the "best" possible group of people...

DETACH YOURSELF

had a dream last night about the future...eye opening...

i can't believe how much harder my fucking life if getting...

i have a lot of words i can't get out

i just want the right--no I have the right--to forge my own fucking life...

there's no sound but the engine's drone

Lyrics to a song by the Deftones called Rosemary.

"And as hollow as the 'O' in God"

This is a Marilyn Manson lyric.

so much passion towards justice...punishing the injustice

this life is the most painful thing I could have ever lived through

i don't feel at home in this reality...

is it an intrusive thought or is it the universe trying to tell me something...

i'm not supposed to be here

the lives we were forced to lead, the existences we had without choice don't confine us

in that frame of mind where i can see forwards and backwards in time

cherry waves

A Deftones song.

i know how important hardship is in getting the truth...